Weight issues....not just a girl thing

When weight problems are brought up, what is the first thing you think of? A female? A skinny girl, a big girl? One you think is battling anorexia or bulimia? Someone you think just doesn't care? A young person or an older one? What is it that comes to mind?

Most of the time, those are the images that come to mind. Our society has put a lot of images out there that targets females. "You have to look this skinny to nab a husband," "How to lose weight in 10 days," "Take this miracle pill and never have to worry about it again" There are actually ads for pills out their that use celebrities as endorsements....but those celebrities are suing because they had nothing to do with them. Yet people are duped everyday for those pills.

However, has that image ever been of a male? Of a teenage male? Probably not. Because that isn't what we are "conditioned" to think of. Well...let me inform you...it's not just a girl problem. There are boys out there as well that are dealing with these problems just as much.

My son, M, 14 yrs old....lately he has been sneaking into the kitchen, raiding the fridge (eating shredded cheese from the package), raiding the pantry (getting handfuls of Cheez-Its), raiding our big freezer (taking Klondike Bars of his dad's), and taking packages of chips into his room. We weren't able to get him to tell us "Why?"...he'd just apologize (well...sometimes), hang his head, look away, and walk off. Finally, just yesterday, he opened up to his dad. He has been skipping lunch and so he has been hungry.

Why is he skipping lunch? Because he feels too fat. He wants to lose weight. He's embarrassed of how he looks. He's 14. He's a teen going thru that phase of life called puberty. He's got a couple of pounds on him, but nothing that would make him be fat. Yet, he is seeing himself as having a weight problems. 

I bet that wasn't the first image that came to mind when I say "weight issues." We don't really think of males having the body image problems. Girls are the first thing we think of. However, we can't let our boys get lost in the shuffle. Don't let them think they are any less just because they have a few pounds on them. Yes, teach them how to eat healthy and to get that exercise in. Not downplaying that. (M's dad even told him that skipping and raiding wasn't the way to do it) But, don't let them see themselves in a bad light either. 

We preach this to girls all the time. "You are beautiful." "That is an airbrushed model...don't try to emulate her." "You are worth more than those few pounds."  We need to say these things to our boys too. "You are handsome." "You don't need muscles like that airbrushed model on the workout magazine." "You are worth more than those few pounds."

Just remember....weight issues are not just a girl thing.

Bedtimes....and ADHD

This time of year is when parents start to wonder "What is a good time for my son/daughter to go to sleep?" Every one has a different answer...some study...some doctor's opinion...some something that they look to. 

And that's fine. That's what parents are to do...figure things out follow what they think they should do...what works for their kids.

I just wanted to let you in on a little nugget that I wasn't aware of at first, but later learned about and it has helped tremendously. Maybe I can help you...help your ADHD child.

Children with ADHD do not follow "the norm." That's normal. They have a chemical imbalance that makes their norm different. My favorite quote is "Normal is just a setting on a dryer" which is even more so with ADHD children.

What does this have to do with bedtimes? Ready?.....Children with ADHD have a "window" for sleep. If they go too early from their "window," they will be up all night. If they go too late from their "window," they will be up all night. It doesn't matter what time they have to get up in the morning....you have to find that "window." It's something that you have to figure out with them.

So here's what is suggested for my kids: D (6yrs old) 8pm; T (9yrs old) 8:45pm; M (14yr old) 10pm; R (17yr old) 10:30pm. Now overall...it doesn't sound too bad. I remember being up all times of the night. I am a night owl. A BIG one! However, this doesn't work for my ADHD kids. Now 3 of the 4 have been diagnosed (T,M,R). We've been thru a lot to figure out their "windows." Especially since we didn't know this to begin with. We found out when M was about 7...2 yrs after he was diagnosed.

All four go TO bed at 8pm. School or summer. D and T turn off their light at 8:30. Some nights they are right to sleep...others it may be another 20-30 mins. If we did put them to bed and turn of lights earlier OR later, they would be up pretty much all night. I know...from experience. Especially when the power went out....and we didn't get it back on until 3:05am...D and T didn't fall asleep until 2:10am. M and R turn off lights around 8:45-9pm. And pretty much go right to sleep.

Each child has their own "window"...but a lot of parents of ADHD children don't even know this. So they are frustrated with kids being up and can't figure it out.

Hope this can help.

I owe it to _______ to be better

I have been thinking about this for about a week now. This is a new year...this is another starting time. Now....I'm not much for resolutions. I know how it goes...you make all these plans, then even within a few days...BOOM..right back where you started. May even get discouraged and forget about doing them. 

However, I have felt the pull to change some things about me. To devote myself to being a better me.

First, I am going to be devoting more time to God. We all do it..."I'll do it later" .... "When I find time"...."When this tv show is over...oops...when THIS tv show is over" But no more. I'm going to delve deeper into God's Word deeper than I have before.  He is my Father and I owe it to Him to be a faithful child.

Second, I'm going to work harder on my relationship with my hubby. I know it takes two in a marriage to make it work....well, technically three if God is apart of your life. Sometimes the bumps that come along in life can get in the way...sometimes we all let other things get in the way. But I declare that I won't do it anymore. He is my knight and I owe it to him to be a better wife. 

Third, I'm going to work harder on my relationships with my kids. Two are already out of the hosue with their own families, one will be out of high school come summer 2018, one will be in high school next school year, and the two younger ones will hit all those milestones before I know it. I don't want to look back and regret not knowing my kids better or wishing I had taught them better. I already wish that for the ones out of the house...gotta catch the others before more regret sets in. I also want to volunteer at their school...never done it before, but never too late to start. They are my kids and I owe it to them to be a better mom.

Fourth, I want to work on myself. I have let myself go in so many ways....including wasting time not doing the things mentioned above. I also know my health isn't the best...I need to get down a "few" pounds. I need to take care of myself and my sanity. Make time for myself and not feel guilty for doing it. I am the only Gretchen and I owe it to myself to be a better Gretchen.

Fifth, I am going to work on being a better friend. I have put my friends on hold just because I didn't make the effort. I want to make sure my friends know that they are important to me as well. I will push myself to get out of the house when possible and make those connections again. They are my friends and I owe it to them to be a better one to them.

Sixth, I want to take so many more photos this year. I keep not taking pictures and missing some good times the kids would enjoy to remember when they grow up. Taking pictures is also fun for me, so it would help with number 4. I also want to be IN more pictures...no matter how I look. I have tried to avoid pictures for about a year or more....and before that, I'm the picture taker. I know it sounds trivial, but I want my kids to remember me, my grandkids to know and remember me....and to stay in the family for generations. I am a part of the family and I owe it to them to "capture" our fun and love.

Seventh, I am going to blog more. I know Fb is more accessible...but blogs are awesome journals. The kids will be able to look back on them and see all that happened.I want to remember the good and the bad that happens in our family. I want them to see that no matter what....we are together in this path of life. I also want to be able to look back myself. To see where we have come from...to where we are now. To see the many blessings that blossomed from our family. It is our legacy and I owe it to the family to keep a record.

So I think I have encompassed everything I have had on my mind lately. I hope I didn't bore you to death :) I will definitely be writing soon (per number 7 :) )