A Note from me

So as 2013 comes to an end...I wonder...what have I learned about myself?

I'm one tough cookie! Going to school full-time while taking care of three boys schedule, working in a fourth boy's schedule so I can have time with him. Then figuring out how to keep the house clean, clothes clean, dishes clean.....which most of time they weren't all done  at the same time..lol :)

I have a lot of work in the mommy department. I KNOW I am never gonna get to that "Susie Homemaker" point....but  I still have things I need to do. Like nights before bedtime, spend an extra few minutes with each child...just for them. I have wanted to do this, but I have been so stuck on getting them in bed, so that I can hurry to my textbooks. I want to teach them more about humility and doing more for others. They are pretty good now, but I want them to be better. I want them to know the world is more than them.

I don't have many friends. Not complaining. Not a pity party. Just a fact. I am a Stay-AT-home mom. I literally didn't have the time to get out to get with friends. People have their own schedules, work, families, so it's hard to coordinate everything. That is one thing that school helped with...I met people, got to meet new people, got to laugh with new friends.

I have learned more empathy and sympathy for people. A lot of it has come back to my internship with Rowan Helping Ministries in 2011 and 2012, but I think it keeps growing the more and more I look around me. So much pain and problems going on around us and there's sooo much to be done, yet not enough being done...and I WANT to. What are the solutions? I don't know...but my goal is to figure things out for some.

I still have sooo many questions. Like, why do people treat people the way they do? Just as I said in my blog in Feb, Changing views, I just can't see why people can't love everyone. Why can't we just show God's unconditional  love? That means without conditions...without prerequisites...without people having to be in our certain circles...or look a way we want them to...have the money we think they should...act the way we think they should. Why can't we smile at a person for no reason? Why is it that so many people have scowls on their faces? Is it because they have never been smiled at before? 

Why do we jump at the chance to criticize people? We are in a society that hurries to jump on people's throats, that we don't stop to TALK to people like we used to. When we had problems with people, we used to go to the person and say "Hey...what's up? This is my problem with what you (said/did). Can we talk about it?" Maybe not in those exact words, but we at least tried to speak to the person. We didn't freeze them out. I was taught that if you had a problem with a person, you GO to that person. Although I know that's not necessarily easy nowadays, you can message/e-mail/Skype/etc. them.

I guess Facebook has become our shouting arena. Say something, someone else YELLS back, an argument ensues, and relationships fall apart. Or the other extreme....Say something, another doesn't like it, the other person says something, and "unfriends" them. Again, leading to the relationship falling apart. One~ Instead of trying to start something, just calmly state your position. Two~ realize you both are coming from different points. You don't have to jump all over them. Just be willing to talk. Three~ talk it out....you don't have to tear the person down in order to get your point across! That only makes the person defensive. You can be constructive without being DEstructive. 

Maybe sometimes I care too much. I want to be able to save everyone's feelings/relationships that I hate to see them being tore apart by not taking each other as a person instead of a computer screen. In today's society, that is what most people see instead of the person behind it. Also when we are in public, we forget to see the people around them. Look up, see that person around you. That woman with a crying child might have just gotten news that she has cancer and is zoned out. Don't be so quick to judge that she's not disciplining him. The man that cut in front of you in the store....might be rushing to the hospital to get to his daughter. The out-of-control child running in the aisle...might have a disorder that he can't control his impulse control. 

So look up...smile at the woman with the scowl. Let the man cut in line. Write a message to that person who you were angry with. Don't ignore that person beside you just because they are wearing ratty clothes. We are all people. We are are worthy of love. God's love. God's unconditional love. 

So....I started this post as one on me....but it took a turn...maybe someone reading it needed to read this, needed to hear something. I hope so :) Love to all and hope everyone had a WONDERFUL and BLESSED Christmas. Have a WONDERFUL and SAFE New Year.

Learning

So, these last three weeks are the starting of school for this house. Lots of learning to be done :)

Trev started his first day of Kindergarten. Our lil Trev-Trev is growing up :) I thought L would have been the one to have the hardest time with this Trev going to school because he spent so much more time with him when he was a baby than the other children. It turned out I boo-hooed the whole way down the driveway and all the way back to the house.

Mark started his first day of 5th grade. It's his last year in elementary school....wow! L just realized he was in 5th grade week before school started....lol.

Ross started his first day of 8th grade. So he has started his last year of middle school. So, my "Rosserdo" will be a high schooler next year! Not rushing it....but it's a shocker!

Then, the week before the kids started, I started my last semester of college. I have worked sooooo hard to get to this stage, I cannot even describe the feelings I have to finally be here! It took so long to get my AA, then to be here....so close to my BA.....so happy! Then to decide whether or not to go on for my Master's degree. My advisor has told me she thought I should and that I would do wonderfully at it. That feels wonderful to me.

I'm not that into my Judicial Process class. I was excited about it before school started, but now.....not so much. The teacher is new to the college, so he doesn't really know how "we roll." He hasn't tried to learn our names or to really teach us. The first part of the class (15-20 min) is him doing a few PowerPoint slides. Then the rest of the class (hour and half or more) is discussing our discussion questions we submitted the night before. But I feel like he really doesn't say anything during our discussions, so I feel like I'm left to my own. I am a Sociology major....not a law major. I feel left out in the class. 

Love my NC History class. It is soooo cool learning new things about my own state! 

And of course....I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my Social Movement class. I'm in my grove in there :) 

So this house is full of learning :) 

Tidbit I learned *The word "bootlegger" came from the Prohibition Era. The people who would come in on the carriages would have the alcohol in bottles or flasks in their boot leg, then people would ask them for a drink from their boot leg....thus, they were bootleggers. 

Ross

So I have enjoyed writing the last few days, telling you of my boys. What inspired me was today.  I wanted it to lead up to this.

Today, 13 years ago, at 9:46am, a 7lb, 7 and 1/2oz; 20 and 1/2 inches long little boy changed my life. Today, 13 years ago, I became a mommy for the first time. Today, 13 years ago, I held my own child in my arms after a 10 hour labor. Today, 13 years ago, Anthony Ross, became his mommy's boy.

He has been a challenge. He always keeps us on our toes. We found out early on that he has certain behavioral and neurological problems. However, I'm not going to go into that in this post. Yes, it is a part of him. Yes, it is something we have to deal with. However, it does not define him. He is much more than these things.

He LOVES to read. I think this is how Mark learned to love it (he wanted to be like his big brother :) ) Ross loves to read history. He's read that same Ben Franklin book that Mark has...not as many times, but still...lol. He also likes fiction. He really got into the Percy Jackson series. He could even tell you alllll the people throughout the books. I was lucky to remember the main characters (I read the books along with him)

Talking about being able to tell you about allll the characters...his mind is like a trap. Once something is in there, he can spout it back out at ya. He can read something and then tell you about it, even a week/month/and sometime a year later. 

His love of history goes beyond books. He loves going to historical sites. We have gone to Old Salem and Latta Plantation. He had a ball. He loves learning about the places. He has gone to other places thru his school as well (I'm not even going to try and remember them...lol)

He loves his electronic games. I think if he could, he wouldn't ever let them go...lol. Anytime we talk on the phone, he tries to tell me about his games. I don't understand them, but he tells me about them to the "T."  He likes other games, but he bores very easily...lol, so it has to have a lot of action...or at least he wants to be certain he can win...lol.

He loves those hard to pronounce games and shows. You know the ones: Pokemon, Digimon, Bakugan, and ones along those lines. I don't get them. I have tried to play along with them....yet...nope...don't get 'em...lol.

He is very serious about things. He doesn't like magic or magic tricks. "How does a kid not like magic?" you may ask. Well, he'll tell you this: It's just an illusion and it's not real, so he doesn't like it. Ross deals in tangibles and concrete things. It's hard for him to think in abstracts. He likes to know how things are going to be and know what's going to happen and when that doesn't happen, he doesn't like it. 

He is my serious boy. He is my protector boy (he takes care of everyone). He is my history buff. He is my gamer. 

He is the boy that changed this girl's life forever, 13 years ago, at 9:46 am.

This is my Rosserdo! 

Mark

Mark is my second boy. 

He is the one that has been the healthiest. The first time he was sick, he was 3. It was so funny, yet I felt so bad for him. Since he didn't know what was going on, he was so confused. He just had a little bug, so it wasn't too bad, but poor little guy...lol. He laid on the couch with a little fever, with a washcloth on his head, looked up at me and said "What's wrong with me, Mommy?"  He's only had to go to the doc once for a sickness.

The other times of being to the doctor is for his ADHD. I struggled with having him put on medicine because I thought it was my parenting since I already had one child on medicine. So I fought it for a long time. I finally had a person tell me "If your child was sick, you'd want them to get well. This is the same thing." That's the thing that finally got me. So we got him diagnosed and on medicine. It hasn't been an easy road. He has such a FAST metabolism that medicine blows thru his body. 

However, when we have his medicine correct, he can focus so wonderfully in school, this boy is a whiz. He loves to learn, so that's not a  problem. It's making sure he can focus. He's an A/B student and can stay there as long as his medicine is helping. When his medicine isn't working correctly, he slips into the C/D range. As I tell him, if that was the best he could do....I'd have no problem with that.....but I know he can do better. We have proof from his report cards :)

He is the messiest kid. His room can't stay clean for even a day...lol. We have tried so many tricks, that we have ran out....lol. I have just tried to pick my battles. During the school year: would I rather have his schoolwork done or his room clean? Would I rather have him pout about having to do his room and take forever on his schoolwork and do it incorrectly or just have him work on his homework and figure out the room later? So it's just a battle with him and with myself with what should be done. The odd thing? He'll help me around the house...just not his room...lol. So....I just have to deal sometimes. I'll go in sometimes and work with him to clean it, but even that is a struggle, too.

He LOVES to read. Let me say that again.....LOVES to read. We can't go anywhere without a book or magazine with him. We live about 5 minutes from the grocery store and the pharmacy. Even to take a ride there.....yep....along goes a  book or magazine. He is kinda picky about what he likes, but once he gets into a book, he's absorbed. He likes to read about Ben Franklin. I know this because we have one book about him that he has read eight times (that I know of....lol) He likes to read about NASCAR. We have some books on the history of NASCAR and their drivers and some NASCAR magazines and he reads them.

He loves games. Be them board, card, or electronic ones. He loves Uno, Monopoly, and almost ANY electronic game...lol. He will play any game with you. It may take him a little bit to learn it, but he will play it. Skip-Bo he likes....it just takes him a little bit to remember it every time he starts it again. You need a partner for a card game? Call Mark :) (just no gambling with my kid...lol)

Although, honestly, he's not good at sports.....he tries soooooo hard at them. We work with him, we encourage him, we get him to try and try again....but he's just not going to be a sport kid. 

Now drawing.....that kid can draw!!!! It has amazed me what he can draw. I love to put his drawings on the fridge. I have had a couple of times when my fridge has been overrun with his drawings...lol. He's done drawings of a dragon, a bear, an Indian,  Scooby Doo, and many others. I'm planning an area of our wall where I'm going to put clipboards where we can put their art on the wall and switch them around as we want. The boys can do it as they want to, too.

He's my shy, yet competitive boy. He's my messy,  cleaning helper. He's my aspiring artist. He's my aspiring chef. He's my "can't put a book down" boy. He's my teacher boy...always wanting to teach the younger boys things he has learned. He's my protective boy....always making sure everyone is ok. 

This is my Markers. 

Trevor

Trevor has been my over zealous child. He has learned things at a zooming speed. Whether or not some things stick...well, that's another story...lol.

Trevor came as a surprise. Mark was 5 when Trevor was born. He was graduating from preschool and I was worried that I was going to miss his graduation ceremony because of it. Luckily, I didn't :)

Every milestone, he tried to get to very early. I think it had more to do with trying to keep up with his brothers. He didn't want to be left behind. At 7 months old, he was already walking. Not stably, of course, but he was determined to follow his big brothers. He didn't want to be in one room while his brothers had taken off to another...lol.

Although he does have problems with certain words, he has a huge vocabulary. A lot of times, instead of saying "I" he'll say "My" so it's cute if he has to say "I do" (in the song by Taylor Swift "Begin Again") it becomes "My do"

He is a sponge for learning.....when he wants to. He loves to learn about dinosaurs. Anytime he sees a book with dinos in it, he is immediately drawn to it. Another thing he likes to read/look at pictures about is nature. At the doctor's office, there is an A-Z book of ocean animals. I think he looks thru it everytime. And he has figured out when pages are tore out...lol.

When he wants to learn something, he will try and try and try. One example is with winking. He can wink fine with his right eye, but he has trouble with his left eye. But he doesn't give up! Sometimes he'll try and "train" it by using his finger to close it, then try and keep it close. Other times he'll just focus real hard to wink with just his left eye. It's so cute to see him try sooo hard for something he wants sooo hard to do. I pray and hope that this goes for everything he does in life.

Trevor LOVES to sing. We just got finished with VBS at church. When he came home in the evenings, he'd sing the songs over and over and over and over (which is cute, but Mark wasn't liking it...lol..Mark gets songs stuck in his head real quick, so he wasn't wanting that...lol) He will sing songs until he knows it  backwards and forwards. One song that is popular around here is "Wagon Wheel" by Darius Rucker. He will sing it over and over and Dean with sing with him :)

My son knew his racecar drivers before he knew his ABC's. I have a video of him pointing to different #'s and bobbleheads and telling who they are. Jeff Gordon is his favorite driver. Why? I have NO idea...lol. No one else in the house is a Gordon fan...lol. My only guess is because my dad had a Gordon shirt at one time and gave it to Mark and Trevor saw it and it stuck in his head. It's a stretch, I know....but I can't figure anything else out...lol. He won't sit and watch a race, but he'll walk thru and ask "Where's Jeff Gordon at?" Drives L crazy...lol.

Trevor is also a clothes addict. He loves to change clothes over and over and over and over and....well you get the gist...lol. I think he gets this from Mark cuz Mark will do the same as well. He loves to pick out his own outfits, although his matching skills are, of course, sometimes in  question...lol. I even told his teachers at preschool one time that I wasn't dressing him, that he was dressing himself, and that if he didn't match, if was his choice...lol. Didn't want them thinking I didn't know how to match clothes...lol.

He is my running, playing, loving child. He's my intense trier, my playful goof. He's the one who will try his hardest to help you. He is DeanDean's "Twewa" and he's my surprise. 

He is my TrevTrev. 

Dean

Dean has been slow at learning things. Not that that is a bad thing, it's just something that we have had to keep a watch on to make sure that he doesn't fall behind or anything. He squeaks right up to those "deadlines" for milestones. We have also had to learn things ourselves because we have to adapt things to learn from him. He's a smart bugger....he's just laid back and takes his time :)

First, he was slow to walk. For those that don't know, by twelve months, most children are walking. Not that some don't walk later. At eighteen months, if they can't walk, that is when you are supposed to be concerned.....well, Dean inched right up to that deadline. For a bit, he wore a brace to straighten him out....he didn't care for it and he didn't wear it long. It was to bring his stomach in and his shoulders where they were to be. It worked for what it was to do and he grew out of a little bit of what he was doing. He still has a bit of an ankle and foot problem, but we will keep watching that.

Second, he has been slow with talking. He was only saying mama and dada at twelve months, but other than that...nope. He'd grunt, but that was the extent of it. At two years old right now....you HAVE to know what he's talking about to know what he's saying :) I sometimes play around with L because L still has a problem knowing what Dean is saying. If Dean comes to me wanting something, and I know what he wants, I'll have him go to L and ask him for it. I watch as L looks at me with a deer in the headlight look :) It's funny as he tries soooo hard to figure out what Dean is saying.

Here's a bit of Dean's Dictionary: (What I can think of right this moment)
Ga: Thank you
Boo: Move
Bote: Remote
Mak: Mark
Nah: Ross
Nah: Love you (This is the reason for context :) )
Nan-know: Banana
Fred: Bread
GrodGog: Hot Dog
Zeescel: Cereal 

While I am telling you this, I am also telling you that he is a smart bugger. The agency that has helped us to make sure he is staying on track, had a PT come out. She had a bag of different activities for him to do and Dean was doing activities that she hadn't had to bring out with other kids in a long time. He was blowing thru the activities for his age, that he was actually getting to ones above what she needed to test. Maybe not figuring them out (one activity, he did NOT want to put the right shapes together), but it was the fact of him trying :)

Today, I actually heard him say "I love you" for the first time. Not the "Na". Of course now he won't repeat it and it took me about 30 second to realize he actually said the whole phrase, but he actually said it! When I tried to get him to repeat it, he said "Na"...then he said "I na"...so it'll come again....just hate it took so long for it to register :/  

Dean is my hugging, kissing, chilling, sitting in my lap, riding my back like a monkey, playing with my hair, flipping over the couch to be beside me, bringing me my drink, bringing me my pillow, bringing me my blanket, lovable child. 


This is my DeanDean :) 

New pool, new dangerous recipe, and DIY wipe recipe

So a few years ago, a couple of WONDERFUL friends got Trev a pool for his b-day. It was surprising to L and me about how well they took care of it. It wasn't popped, they tried to keep all the "wonderful" grass clippings out of it, and kept the water in the right area. They kept it thru a whole summer. Then my parents came with their dog. And the dog liked it....and jumped thru it....and popped it. Thus went the pool.

Their old pool from some great friends :)

So this year, I wanted to get them a new one. Then we have gotten the lovely floods a'comin'. I saw no need cuz they wouldn't be able to enjoy it. We had a month (maybe a month and 1/2... I started to lose track) straight of rain everyday. However, at Family Dollar, I saw a pool for $10 and couldn't resist :) I still had to wait for the rains to calm down. So I hid the pool so the kids couldn't see it. You know how kids are...they see something, they want to do it, they beg, they beg, they ask, they ask....so I HAD to hide it.

Finally today I was confident enough that it wasn't going to rain (I kept getting worried of the "isolated thunderstorms" that never came), so as they were outside, I inflated it inside. Then I went outside and attached the hose. Now, parents do anything for their kids. I almost knocked off my knuckle for them. Our house isn't done the best, so the way our water "thingy" is on the house, it's recessed a bit too much, so my knuckle kept hitting the siding. 

Then I brought their pool outside. It's funny cuz the first thing I was thinking of as I was walking out the door was of determined little doggie Gus. Lol. Although I was going out the door, I was thinking of him :) As I go out the door and the boys see it, they ask me....yes, it's true...."Is that a pool?" I wish I was witty enough to say something that could be a type of "Here's your sign" :)

Mark...afraid to step in due to the water being cold

Easing in

I have also found my new favorite dessert recipe. It's dangerous though....cuz it's tooooo good. They are called Lazy Cookie Bars and are soooo delish. L kept laughing at me because I was Ohhhh and Ahhhh over them :)

DANGEROUS dessert :)

And last but not least, I am trying a DIY wipe recipe. There are so many out there, you just have to pick one and try it, then tweak it next time. First off, we use the HUGE rolls of paper towels. Cut the roll in half.

Pay no attention to the "wonderful" sawing

So finding a container for them was fun around here. Then I remembered we had just gotten some Maxwell containers from my dad. I know this won't work for every time (it will rust), but I'm out of wipes and have no car to go anywhere....have to make do :)

  

Paper towel roll fit nicely :)

The recipe I decided to use called for 2 cups of boiling water cooled down. This turned out to be too much. Then it is added to 2 tbsp baby shampoo and 1 tbsp baby oil. Waiting on the water to cool when I wanted to hurry up and do it is what got me :)

The baby oil and shampoo (left) and water cooling (right)

After putting them together, you pour it over the paper towels and let it sit for 10 minutes. Some recipes said to flip it and let it soak for another 10 minutes, so I did this also. Then you pull the cardboard out of the middle. Then you pull the paper towel from the middle. It reminds me of the wipes like Lysol or something that pulls from the middle.

I also squeezed some of the water out because like I said, the 2 cups was just too much, so go along with the 1 cup like most recipes say. I went with the 2 cups because of how big of a roll I was using, but it still ended up wayyyyy to wet.

I've never had boys want their faces wiped, but since I made these wipes myself, they wanted me to wipe their faces after supper :) We'll see how well they work for the bottom :) 

Trying new things

I love trying new things. 

I didn't use to be this way. I used to be VERY scared of it. Because I was worried of "What if it didn't turn out right? What if no one liked it?" I still have those thoughts, however, I've learned that I will find new things I will like, I will figure new things out, I can figure out what I can do different next time.

This weekend has been a fun one. First I made a sock doggie. Now.... I figured out a lot of different things I would do different with the next one. I made his body too little. I second guessed myself. I had it bigger, but thought it was too big, so I cut it down and it turned out scrunched...lol. His arms aren't connected the best, but I was so frustrated..so I need to walk away once I'm frustrated :) I love his ears. I did them in the morning after leaving him alone for the night, so I was seeing him from a refreshed viewpoint :)



Then today I made strawberry fruit roll-up. I have a few changes I would make with it. With the recipe I used, I would double or triple it. With how long it took it and how little amount of fruit roll-ups I got out of it....it seemed almost "fruitless" :) Also, I would use a lil bit less lemon juice. It's not bad, but it definitely has that twang. It reminds me of my school days of pulling one out of my lunch bag :) Can't wait until the boys try them :)

Coming out of the oven. Splitting the pieces. 

 Split it into 4 pieces

All rolled-up :) 

 

The 31st of November

(I had written this in January  2013, but didn't publish it)
So, 7 days after my last post was a tough one. On Nov. 31st, I had talked to my mom at 7pm. We talked about how she was feeling better (after being in the hospital the week before due to blood loss). We talked about the pictures she colored in her physical therapy (she was sooo excited about that :) ) She told me that she had a little bit of a pain in her shoulder due to some exercises in PT, but that she knew she had to have a little pain to get better. Then made plans for me to come up there with the boys the next day or Sunday. She was excited, as was I.

 At 8:20pm, I got a call from her again. She wanted me to bring a picture of my dad for her to have in her room. She had pictures of me and the boys....now she needed on of dad. I said no prob :)

At 10:30pm, the phone number that showed up on the caller id was from the nurses station. They call me when she falls and so I was like "Uh, oh. What happened?" I answered the phone, the nurse asked for me and I told her she was talking to me. She then said that she hated to inform me that my mom had passed away. I was stunned and asked what happened? The nurse said they were guessing that she had a stroke because they found her on the floor beside her bed.

I lost it. I couldn't even hold the phone. I had to give it over to Lewis. I fell to my knees, crying and   screaming. how could this have happened? I had JUST talked to her?!?!

Dad calls a few minutes later and Lewis had to talk to him. The nursing home obviously called him at the same time as me. Dad went up there (he told me later that he didn't believe it, so he had to know). When I had talked to my mom at 7, he had been there. He had went home and at 9:30, he had talked to her. So we know that it happened fairly quickly after dad talked to her.

The good news is that we know she didn't suffer. We figured she'd "go downhill" for a while. It's good that she didn't have to go thru that.

Dad and I went a few weeks later and spread her ashes in Ga., near Kennestone Mountain. My dad's parents are spread over the mountain and that's how mom and dad both wanted it done for them. However, we learned that it's not legal anymore, so we had to improvise.

It still hurts. It's been 2 months and I have a prob realizing she's gone. Last few days, I've had dreams and thoughts about her. I miss her.

Once again....

....I am making myself a promise. I want to keep up this blog. I KEEP saying this, but then I go months without posting. And soooo much happens. 

Facebook is great for the posting and I get so caught up with just posting on there and saying "There!," but I want to do this for my kids. I am so OCD when it comes to my writing, that if I make a mistake on the paper, I have to re-write the page. So journals have never been a favorite of mine. So doing blog writing will leave something for my kids to look back on. Even going back every so often on what I have on this one, it's great to see. Before I got into Facebook, I wrote all the time. Now....well, we see how it is...lol.

So, I am dedicating it to writing AT LEAST once a week. I don't want to say more because if I don't and get discouraged, it might be months before I come back. So I DO want to do MORE than once a week, but we will PROMISE at least once :)

:) 

Changing views on the world

This semester has been a great one, even with it only being a month in. I thought, I told people, and I was SURE that this semester was going to be my hardest. However, even though it is an intense semester (a ton of reading and writing), it has been a great one. 

This semester has changed how I view things. I wondered and wondered if I should write about it because I'm sure I'm gonna turn some people off. However, it has been exciting to me that I have found new ways of seeing things and new ways of reacting to things. One of my professors even pickingly said that I wasn't going to have many friends if I keep voicing everything..lol. 
  

One example of this is: One day in class we were talking about how we label people. When we see someone, our culture has taught us to automatically put them into a category, whether because of their race, clothing, or what we think their sexual identity is. A question we brought up is: Why? Will it change the way we talk to that person? React to them? Be friends with them? So, that same evening, L and I were watching Wheel of Fortune. There was a contestant on there that had the mannerisms of a homosexual. Unfortunately, like we usually do, we both said "That guy's gay!" Right after I said it, it dawned on me. I had just talked about this in class that day. Did it matter that person was gay or not? If I met that person face-to-face, would I treat that person any different? And I even voiced this to Lewis (which is what brought on the picking comment from my professor after I told her..lol) I have always been a friend to anyone and everyone. Even the ones that aren't the most popular, most liked, or the people that are looked at as outcast. Yet, here I am categorizing people. 

 Another example is a phone call with a friend. She had called me to tell me about her day. She mentioned her errands and what all happened at school. Then she mentioned "And a black guy ran into my car." I didn't say it out loud, mainly because I know most of the time she doesn't listen (she sometimes hears, but doesn't listen well), but I wondered "Why did she have to bring in race (or a person's sex)? Does it make any difference what color that person's skin is (or their body parts)? Would she have felt better if it was a white person (or female)?"

Now, don't get me wrong...I know this is part of our culture. I know that it's not a way of thinking we can automatically get rid of. I know we all do it and I know I will still do it. However, I have become much more aware of it and how I'm going to try and not do it as much.I'm not going to put the impossible on me by saying I won't ever do it, but I am going to work at doing better. 

 However, I have been thinking a lot lately of how Christians treat the homosexuals. Why is it that we classify homosexuality as "the sin" that keeps people out of church? Aren't all sins, sin in God's eye? Why don't we condemn people who....steal.....and keep them from coming to our churches? Why do we embrace people who have....disobeyed their parents.....yet want to kick out the people who have different sexual behaviors as us?

In Bible times, eating together was a BIG thing. (Guess that's where the Baptist get it...lol...j/k) Jesus ate with the lowest of the low and conversed with the people that others would stay yards away from. Yet, today, we as Christians, aren't being that "Jesus-like." We aren't going out to eat with the prostitutes. We're not inviting the homosexuals to church. What kind of example is that to them? Instead we are condemning them and what is that offering them? I have family and friends who are homosexual...granted, I haven't seen them in a while...but I never condemned them. Even though I didn't figure they would except, I even invited them to church. I think that was a shock to them..lol. 

 

Why do we push them farther and farther away from the church? Again, a sin is a sin, so why is THAT one the big one?

 

I have always known that all people need God's love. I have always tried to show love, be caring to everyone. They need to know that EVERYONE is able to be loved by us. I think I have realized how I haven't been taking that completely to heart. I instead put labels, decide if that is a label I can be comfortable around and then act/react. 

 

I put a challenge out there. Show love to EVERYONE. Reach out with a cup of coffee. Send an "I care about you" e-mail to that person you often avoid.If it's not us, Christians, that show them God's love.....who will it be?