Tough Day

I have just been in such a weird mood. So much going on in my mind that it's driving me nuts. I cried about 4 times today and I very much dislike crying. This is a "pity party" post. I need this tonight. I apologize if anything sounds ridiculous.

I went to the Dollar Store today. I bought some decals to put on the kids walls. I bought some trucks to put on Mark's. I put them up high enough that he couldn't reach~or so I thought. He is such a destructive child! After having a toy for an hour or so, he'll have it broken. He's had some that he hasn't, but for the most part he tries to. WELL~ L got home and I was SOOO proud about the trucks on Mark's walls, so I take L in to see them. My heart sank when I saw 4 of the decals torn.

I've been working so hard to get this house cleaned up some, but it seems as tho~ one place gets "straightened" then another place gets messed up or L makes a mess in that area, not considering I just cleaned it up.

I have been feeling bad about not being in church. I just hate not going as a family and it's a battle to get L to go. I asked him the other day "If you died tonight, where would you go?" His reply?~"I'm not planning on dieing tonight" I said "Duh! But where would you go?" "I'm not dieing tonight" So aggravating. Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames is coming here in October. I'm taking him to it, even if I have to take him kicking anf screaming. If you haven't ever seen it, it's WONDERFUL. I saw it a LONG time ago, but I figure it's still as good. I'm praying about going to another church, cuz I know he just doesn't enjoy the church I go to. I hate it, I grew up in that church, but I know he'd rather be somewhere else. I've been looking for something that tells me what the different denominations believe. Like~what's the difference between a Baptist and a Church of God or a Wesleyan? My parents went to a WONDERFUL Church of God in Ga. and I would love to have gone there! You felt God in THAT place.

It always seems as tho when L wants something we have the money, but when I finally decide I want something, WHOOPS~there's not enough money. It drives me nutz! When we got our refund back, L spent $800 on things for his boat. I didn't want anything. L just spent some money on bowling ball repairs a couple of months ago.
I have not wanted a camera before now. I was always wanting those pictures that have "mistakes" in them. Well, when we FINALLY had all the kids together and had a family picture, it was messed up. So I said~Ok, I want a digital! L and I talked about it and we decided to get one~Well what do ya know? All of a sudden we don't have money! It's just aggravating (I'm hooked on that word tonight)

Another money thing~My biggest money problem is having problems tithing. I think~"We need that "$X" for X bill." I know I'm SUPPOSED to tithe, but I have a problem with that leap. I've had people tell me "Well, I started tithing and since I have, he's increased my $." Well, if I hear that, then start tithing, thinking "God will give me more $" ~isn't THAT the wrong reason to tithe?

Sorry I've written your eyes off (ya know~I can't TALK your EARS off :)~sorry, trying to add SOME humor)

Write ya later.